I’m not a big fan of goals. The issue I have with them is that it often means caring about something that we cannot control. The problem with doing this is that it can lead to negative emotions such as anxiety, or even a complete breakdown accompanied by a sense of failure because you didn’t reach your goals.
However, that’s not to say that goals cannot be useful.
The way I use goals is this. I imagine what I would like to achieve, and then I start to try and understand what types of behaviors, especially on a daily basis, will allow me to achieve what I want to achieve. Then, I go away and completely forget about the original goals and just focus on the remaining positive behaviors that I’ve discovered I need to implement.
This has the added advantage of probably taking you to your goal, but removes the stress associated with having goals.
The problem about the traditional way of doing things is that once you write a goal down, it can be a straight-jacket because we often change as we try and strive for our goals, and so our goals themselves should change.
This is like trying to hit a bullseye but the dartboard moves after you have thrown the dart – not easy.
So remember this:
- Control instead of chance.
- Process instead of outcomes.